A Weapon to Ban
Daily Meditation 95–5/28/2022
Victimhood is a topic we think about frequently in YouDaimonia.
It’s not that you aren’t “allowed,” per se, to not be a victim — you and I can certainly experience tragedy. And we absolutely should be allowed to feel how we like about these experiences, at least for a time.
What isn’t acceptable is to “weaponize” victimhood into a metaphorical sword you wield.
The primary issues with weaponization of a victim mentality are twofold.
Firstly, outwardly, you are attempting to manipulate the emotions of others in order to get them to change their behaviors towards you.
Late for work? “Well, you see, my cat is horribly sick and I was up all night caring for him.”
Subpar test score? “I’m hoping for another shot at it — my father told me he and my mother are getting divorced. I’ve been trying to get through that.”
Secondly, inwardly, using tragedy and victimhood as a weapon is a mechanism through which you are giving yourself the path of least resistance.
Again — we are human.
We absolutely should deeply feel things that happen in our lives. But, we also need to be strong. Strong enough that we can weather these tests and tribulations.
Eudaimonia or Stoicism is not about “being tough” or “dealing with it,” at all, but about the how of dealing with it.
As discussed in our death meditation series (one, two, three, four, five) — this is all part of preparation for bad events.
How we handle the horrors of life and nature partially comes not from closing our eyes, stuffing our ears, and screaming “LA LA LA LA,” hoping they don’t happen, but from deep meditation on these potential occurrences.
Don’t allow negative things in your life to be forged into tools and weapons you utilize against others. Prepare yourself for them.
Be physically well with good diet and movement.
Be financially prudent.
Be spiritually balanced, whatever that may look like to you.
Be good to those with which you have relations.
And, of course, try to see the good in the outcomes and be grateful things aren’t worse.
One day, before you know it, no matter the tragedy, it will eventually be far behind you — and if you’ve been walking the narrow, rocky path of Eudaimonia, you’ll have learned much from it and will be able to carry that lesson into the world.
Follow for daily philosophical meditations.
These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”
