Time

Daily Meditation 523–8/2/2023

Over 50 years ago, I attended university. I had a few good friends and dorm-mates.

As the years became decades and we aged, we’ve stayed in touch. Dennis. Dean. Gary. Calvin.

We don’t all get together anymore to relive the glory days — unfortunately, Gary passed many years ago. Calvin no longer drinks. Dennis “smoked and drank most of his middle 50 years away,” as he, himself, puts it.
Sadly, Dennis lived a bit further away, so I haven’t seen him as much.

And now, we all are (essentially) preparing to one day get the call about Dennis kicking the bucket as those “middle 50 years” of gluttony have come home.

Dennis is a kind, funny, and generous guy. I still, all these years later, remember his best punchlines and we still share our inside jokes.

There have been probably dozens — maybe hundreds — of times I’ve had the opportunity to spend time with him…but I didn’t.

If you would’ve told me all those decades ago when he and I first whispered jokes back and forth in our chemistry class the first day we met, “This man will be one of your best friends the rest of your life — enjoy your time with him,” I probably would’ve worked even harder at our friendship…would’ve been more available to him and his family.

Now, I look back at the times we missed and think to myself that I wasn’t much of a friend.

— — —

While this blurb of a story is fictitious, don’t you wish today that you knew how long you’d have with everyone?

“Lucas,” a little voice would inform me (like an Alexa, perhaps), “you’ve got 55 years, 2 months, 8 days with the person you just met. They’re going to be a very trustworthy friend to you and your family. Your children and theirs will be best friends, too, someday.” Then, a little heads-up-display could give more details.

But that’s obviously not how relationships work.

You’ve got no idea how many years you — or them — have ahead. No clue how close you will be. Not any idea of how much you might need one another one day. If one will betray or hurt the other.

We have to assume every opportunity together is potentially our last. The last time before one of you are in a coffin and the other looking in at the other!

So, if you’re that young intern buddying up to the other intern, cracking jokes, messaging, and maybe even hanging out…

Maybe you’ll only be work acquaintances…
Or maybe you’ll be balding, aging, and dying friends, together with decades of laughs, stories, and moments.

Time is precious.

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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”