Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but…

Daily Meditation 504–7/14/2023

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

This was a popular phrase my parents taught me when I was a child occasionally dealing with bullying.

Unfortunately, I was (and still honestly am) a very tender hearted kid and teen, so a lot of the things others said to me or called me really cut deeply. The words would ricochet about between my ears late into the night.

But, now I’m much older (and perhaps not much wiser, but wise enough to see), the phrase really is timeless.

Words only weigh as much as we let them weigh.

Whereas an ounce of lead will always weigh an ounce and a pound of fish a pound, we can choose to allow a discouraging word to be like a bull elephant upon the throat of our mind.

When someone flips you off or calls you “faggot” or you discover they’ve had a nasty nickname behind your back, how can you react?

You can, of course, fight with them, calling them equally horrendous things, adding to the pollution of existence…

Or you can shrug.

“Oh well,” you can laugh, “I cannot control how they perceive me. I can only live the life between my own ribs.”

And this is powerful.

When you choose to allow the words and perceptions of others to worm into your brain, you are putting out your hands and saying “You own me. I am your slave.”

When you choose, instead, to shrug and realize one day when you’re 80 and dying on your deathbed, surrounded by family that you’ll not remember them calling you these horrible things, well, you retain control.

You own your perception. And with it, you own the world.
No amount of thumbscrewing can force your feelings to be harmed.

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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”