“I’m Right”
Daily Meditation 599 — 10/17/2023
For whatever absurd reason, we really love being right.
First of all — the next time you discover you “were right” about something, I invite you to do a little audit of how it feels.
Sure, there may be a little dash of cynical(ish) schadenfreude or sense of superiority…
But how long does that last?
Say you’re pulling out at a green light.
You see an oncoming car from your side who does not at all appear to be slowing to stop…
If they ram into you, they’d be at fault (unless you live in Michigan, as I do…).
Knowing they’re going to be in the wrong, here, do you allow them to smash you?
No. Of course not, you get out of the way no matter who would’ve been “right.”
And so should we view the shallow urge to be right.
A great mantra to have is the “I’d rather be happy than right” attitude. In many cases, we can actually choose.
If you’re an atheist and a not-too-close acquaintance makes a religious comment to you, do you argue with them? Try to “debunk” their belief (which is almost certainly so engrained that you’ll not make a dent)? Do you laugh at them?
Possibly.
This is you trying to “be right.”
The result may give you a sour feeling. Or even one of superiority…
But the relationship will probably sour, too.
Instead, we could try seeking to understand — “Y’know. I don’t understand your belief. Let’s have coffee, and you just gush it all. I’ll listen.”
We could read up to try to “get it.”
We could ignore it, shrugging and letting them do what they want.
There’s so very many different things we can opt to do instead of trying to “be right,” that will all almost certainly make us (and them) happier.
So, next time you want to argue, ask yourself:
Happy?
Or right?
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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”
