I Hate You
Daily Meditation #122 — 6/24/2022
Disagreements are just as inevitable as death. And taxes, too, unfortunately.
It’s one thing to have a vehement opposition to someone online, but it’s another thing entirely to get into an argument with someone you love and want to continue to have a future with.
Your parents.
Friends.
Bosses.
Spouses.
Even your children, grown or young.
If you approach these people (or, arguably, anyone!) with the need to be right, you’re going to slowly whittle away your relationship capital with them.
The greatest thing a Stoic and Eudaimonic must keep in mind when we feel the waters of disagreement rising to a boil is to encourage yourself and the other to step away for a while.
This is because you want the emotionality of the situation to disappear.
When you get into fights, emotions commandeer control of the sound and just mind. A hot mind makes for an icy cold and razor sharp tongue. You’re likely to either say something vitriolic yourself or to invite into your ears similar words from them.
While a spirit of kind reconciliation is essential for everyone, what is said cannot be unsaid.
Stepping away for a walk can allow both parties to cool their minds, inviting in the opportunity to see things from the others’ point of view. You don’t need to agree with them or to abandon your beliefs, but the ability to — as I refer to it in the book — kindly fold up your opinions, lovingly box them up and to temporarily place them in the storage of your mind’s attic will let you better understand where they are coming from.
And that is positively required for long, happy relationships with other (emotional) beings!
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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”
