“I earned this”

Daily Meditation 624–11/11/2023

A hot bubble bath.
An entire bottle of wine.
A box of chocolates (or an entire bag of Reese’s).
A new video game + 10 hours on the couch.
Eating nothing but take out all day.
A whole tube of cookie dough.
Sleeping in past noon.
A walk-in tattoo.
Another Funko for your collection.
Day drinking from 8am through the night.

“I earned this,” you tell yourself. “I deserve this. To relax.”

You perversely call it “self-care.” All of your friends refer to it by the same name, laughing as you guys order another round of shots, go into another shop in the mall with arms laden with bags, or you enter another gaming lobby to play your 70th match for the day.

This is not self-care. Self-care is not engorging oneself on pizza, Chinese, chips and candy and ice cream after a 40 hour work week.
Self-care is not sleeping in for a grand total of a 13 hour night’s sleep.
Self-care is not viewing porno all day to numb yourself from your exe’s treachery.
Self-care is not blowing your whole budget on shopping and then a night out drinking away the remaining pennies.