History
Daily Meditation #161–7/2/2022
We all have elements of our past which fills us with shame or regrets.
This is not bad.
Shame should not be viewed as “bad.” It just “is.”
Shame is one of the ways the subconscious whispers to us, silent and persistent, to nudge us in the direction we know deep in us that we should be going.
Regret or dwelling on the past, however, is far from productive.
But, it does serve a purpose along with those whispers:
To help give us something to run away from while we tread the narrow, treacherous path of Eudaimonia towards what we aspire to.
Dr. Peterson talks about this, and I agree with him:
While moving in a direction towards something is good, it’s even better if you’re running away from something, too.
The shame and regrets of our past serve nicely, here.
The horrendous, cruel things you said under the influence of alcohol (here’s me!).
The way you allowed yourself to be brainwashed or pulled into the gravity of groupthink.
How you ended up divorced twice.
Why you continue to date people who are clearly narcissists.
In the dead darkness of the night when you can’t sleep, instead of giving yourself a shovel to try to bury these shameful elements of your past like some gut-shot zombie, flailing and trying to get you…
…Instead, inspect it closely. Lean into the pain, the horror, and the filthy little elements of the moments causing you to feel this way.
Write it out.
Talk out loud to yourself about it.
Force yourself to process it, painfully and viscerally.
It is only when you actually address these pieces of your past, head on, that you know to “shoot the zombie in the head,” allowing you to bury it. Then you can come back, freely, and empty of the feelings to reexamine them if you ever wish.
So, stop hiding from shame.
It is a powerful emotion, but you can lever it to help you grow stronger, kinder, and far wiser.
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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”
