Ego

Daily Meditation 533–8/12/2023

“Pythagoras is going to be so disappointed in me”

We all suffer from and struggle with our ego.

Some, of course, more than others.

Narcissists especially have infamously inflated egos, incapable of handling even simple jokes or jabs or mild criticism without feeling utterly crushed, breaking down. Some who score high psychopathically, as well, might even seek revenge.

The ego serves an import role, psychologically, of protecting our psyche from emotional damage, but it can often do more harm than good.

Having an overlarge ego can make interaction with people who tease, are overly passive aggressive, or even just sarcastic very painful.

Additionally, if your ego is too big, you can hit plateaus in self-growth (at work, the gym, in your relationship — everywhere) as you believe you “just know best” and become unteachable.

One of the best cures I’ve found to ego as a former extrem-o-Narcissist?

Good ol’ embarrassment.

But not like giving a speech with toilet paper hanging out of the back of your trousers or going on a first date with your dress inadvertently see-through.

Minor incidents you can either invite embarrassment in or willingly convert your embarrassment into energy and power.

Someone makes a rich comment about your new, failed haircut.
Perhaps you’ve been walking around the office with ripped pants all day, unaware.
Or maybe your young child unwittingly shares something very personal about you with your friends.

1. It’s already happened.
2. The control over the information now belongs to others.
3. You are powerless to control how others perceive said information.

Solution?

Own it.

Have your quick “Oh dear Lord” moment with flushed cheeks and then quickly grab hold of it with a wise crack, a wide-eyed “OH BOY” with a hearty laugh, or just chuckle about it.

Two key things to bear in mind:

Firstly, remember how you feel when others are embarrassed. You might giggle a bit, but you quickly forget it. They’re the ones annoyed. Now reflect that on yourself in the moment of your embarrassment.
No one is going to remember.

Second, when you convert the embarrassing moment, secret, or information into a joke or deprecation, you remove the sting of it. You suck the energy into yourself and regain control.

So, the solution to the ego is to own your embarrassment.

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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”