“Can’t You See Where I’m Coming From?”

Daily Meditation #374–3/5/2023

Outside of outright lying, what is “right?”
What is “wrong?”

So much of our perception and our opinions lie in a spectrum based on our individual histories — then we mistakenly believe them to be fact or “The right way.”

We talk to people — or more likely, talk at them — waiting on our turn to speak, chomping at the bit to speak our peace, and completely ignoring their thoughts.

What a complete waste of both parties’ time.
No one learns anything.
Everyone walks away further entrenched.

Instead of misperceiving what someone believes or what their opinions are, is it possible to try to understand where they’re coming from?

One of the Four Tenets of Eudaimonia is Relationship Wellness. And people outside of your romance and family do indeed count as relationships.

Imagine their childhood.
Imagine — were they bullied?
Imagine how many siblings they had. Were they the eldest, burdened with the responsibility of care for the rest? The youngest, babied and pampered?
Did they come up in poverty and claw their way to wealth?
Did their parents die?
Were they adopted?
How religious are they? which religion?
Maybe were they cheated on? Once? Twice?
Have they maybe been in prison?
The military?
Were they raised in a rural community? The inner city? With missionaries?

We must be creative and imagine they came from any number of infinite combinations.

And then remember — they are not necessarily right nor wrong.
They’re just different.

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These are distillations from my coming book “YouDaimonia: the Ancient Philosophy of Human Flourishing.”